Was
it many friends encouraging a meeting or sheer curiosity? Was it a desire for
adventure without any obligations or a lonely heart searching for companionship
in the unlikeliest of places? Destiny or pure luck? Providence or mere physical attraction? Whatever the case,
two lives colliding at just the right time can turn a world upside down,
derail plans, create a reality you never dreamed or wanted to imagine.
And
how do you say thank you to the one who has led you into that uncharted
territory? The one that was
momentarily foolhardy enough to accept a wager that forever changed your life –
who took a chance on the unknown, just because.
It
seems odd that I haven’t even known you half my life and yet you know me far
deeper than anyone else.
Do
words exist to match the feelings rooted in a heart once so afraid to trust
that has been bolstered out of the shadows into light? You’ve given me what no one else dared.
You
loved me when all you knew was the contrived best of me that I let you see, but continued
to search for more.
You
ignited interests and passions in me that had been suffocated by the status quo
-- a history book will never look
the same and today’s films pale in comparison with the classics.
And
isn’t that so like you? You look for quality in society and culture, always
finding the best in others, and so it shouldn’t surprise me that you loved me
in my darkest times … so terrifying I didn’t even know myself, but you? You knew the heart of me that was
cloaked in depression, and held on tight, never letting go. A constant reminder that where I was,
would not be the end of our story.
Yes, you never let me hold on to the supposition that
love could have two separate dwelling places. “There is no you and me. Only us.” And we are always
worth fighting for.
You
gave me license to do just that and I think only you could have lived under
such a critical eye, always shining a self-righteous glare on the messiness of
life, and through it all you have taught me about love. You
never pointed the spotlight in my direction, but always embraced with
forgiveness and grace. So how do
you say thank you to the one who by his own example has taught you more about
Jesus than you ever understood in the previous years of knowing and following
Him?
You’ve
held me when the weight of loss crushed me physically, emotionally, and
threatened spiritual suffocation. You’ve let me grieve in my way and have
prayerfully walked me through the corresponding fears.
You’ve
rejoiced with me in times of victory and mourned with me in times of defeat.
You’ve created life with me, making me a mother – a new identity, and when that
meant a new way of life, one less income, four children and a stay-at-home mom,
you encouraged me to discover what that would look like for me, and never would
you try to squeeze me into a stereotype.
You
have dreamed for me when I’ve forgotten how to dream. Your questions provoke
and inspire and again you teach me by example …
To
love is to lay down your life for another, and you do it daily. You must think I don’t notice, but the
way you approach life always asking “What does this mean for us? How can we do
this together?” -- You never view me as “just a mom” or allow me to believe (as I’m
inclined to) that my intelligence was thwarted the moment I left the work
place. It’s humbling and inspiring and life giving – to know that in the middle of my invisible years,
I am actively engaged in something bigger than myself, because of you … because
of us.
The
thing is, it is impossible to say in one moment of one day what your love
means, and to say I am blessed would be an understatement of gargantuan
proportions. But I can daily lay down my life for you … I can seek to
serve, to give and receive grace, to create for you a safe place of comfort and
refuge.
I can and I will continue to choose
you every day of my life, and maybe in the highs and lows, the monotony and the
craziness, the joy and the tears of us,
you will know how much I love you
and how forever grateful I am that you took a chance on a girl you’d met only
once, that you kept calling, that you pursued, and chose me to be yours.
I’m
sure chatter, curiosity, and attraction played a part, but I am convinced more
than ever before that
A man’s steps are established by the Lord, and He takes
pleasure in his way. Though he falls, he will not be overwhelmed,
because the
Lord holds his hand. – Psalm 37:23-24
"But the greatest of these is love ..."
-- 1 Corinithians 13:13
