Grateful

So many times I forget to think of everything good in my life.  While I'm busy focusing on what I'd like to change or how I wish the day had gone differently I lose sight of what really matters, and between you and me, I have been richly blessed.

Today was one of those days filled with moments far beneath stellar motherhood.  Nicholas felt warm when I woke up, but I assumed it was because I fell asleep nursing him and had covered us both up with blankets and comforter and I was wearing flannel pajamas.  I got the kids ready for school, quickly showered, fed the kids, packed backpacks, and out the door we went.  I was excited to have coffee with the girls, as my heart has been lonesome for my friends.

Nicholas seemed to be fussy during coffee, but I figured it was due to his lack of a good morning nap, but he still felt warm.  I ran an errand while waiting for Bethany to finish her morning at preschool and came home.  When I took Nicholas out of the car seat I decided to take his temperature.  It was 103 degrees, and immediately I felt like a horrible mother.  The day seemed to go downhill from there.

Nicholas was only comfortable while nursing or sleeping in my arms ...
Lucas had a slight incident at school ...
Bethany gave way to a tantrum ...
I fell asleep while holding the baby ...
Kids wanted to do the dishes but soaked their clothes and the floor ...
Kids wanted to help make Daddy's birthday cake, but Nicholas wanted to be held ...
Kids had a bath and got water all over the bathroom floor ...
I started cutting vegetables for dinner, but Nicholas wanted to be held ...
Matt came home late from work ...
Kids watched too much t.v ...
Nicholas crawled off the edge of our bed resulting in a bloody nose ...
Kids needed mom to comfort them to sleep ...
I just finished the dishes from the dinner that never got made ...
When I looked in the mirror a few hours ago, I looked as exhausted as I feel after being sick or caring for sick people for nearly six weeks ...
My house is a disaster area because Nicholas wants to be held ...

It is easier to focus on the low points of the day, but as I held Nicholas with a bloody nose, I had an overwhelming sense of gratitude come over me.  I have three precious children and a husband, and while the home may be a mess tonight, it is filled with love.

Tonight I am grateful because when my baby is sick I have the means to comfort him, my arms love being filled with his fevered body ...
Lucas is learning from his mistakes the correct way to handle himself at school ...
Bethany's tantrums are teaching moments, and as her preschool teacher declared at this young age of four "Bethany loves the Lord!"
I fell asleep while holding the baby -- pure peace ...
The kids helped with the dishes ...
I can bake the cake tomorrow ...
I have a bathtub to clean the kids in ...
Vegetables are cut for another meal this week ...
Matt has a job to come home late from ...
I got to hold all three kids while watching a movie ...
Nicholas only had a bloody nose, God protected him from further injury and I have a great nurse friend who was willing to come over and set my mind at ease about the fall and Nicholas' well being ...
I got to rub the backs of my sweet kiddos and soothe them off to sleep, and that's ok because this is just a season where they need to be reassured of my love for them and my desire to be with them ...
There were great leftovers in the fridge so I didn't have to cook, and I got the dishes done, albeit late in the evening ...
I may be exhausted, but I have a bed to rest in and I'm about to head there now ...
My house is a disaster area, but I haven't become anxious about it.  There will always be messes, but the days of truly being needed and wanted by your children are few and I am glad to forgo the chores to be what they need ...

Tonight I am exhausted, but truly grateful.